Yuri Baltin, YL2DX

MURPHY'S LAW OF HAM RADIO

 

1. All DX you hear upon installation of a fixed antenna will be coming from the opposite direction.

2. Great propagation normally occurs two days prior and one day after the contest.

Exception: Absolutely the best propagation occurs on the days when you have to go on a business trip or your rig goes up in smoke!

3. All DXpeditions tend to operate on the lower bands when it is daytime at your QTH and on the higher bands when it is night.

First amendment: Since all DXpeditions operate according to the best propagation and common sense, see exception to the rule #2.

Second amendment: Since most expeditions also operate when the European QRM are minimal, see the rule #3 itself.

Remark to the amendment #1: Who says that expeditions must operate according to the common sense?

4. After the test most contesters boast they weren't prepared for it.

5. Contest winner always compliments the competition, especially their antennas and equipment.

6. A DXer who missed a rare expedition invariably says it was the country he didn't need.

7. Effectiveness of any station (QRV-factor) is constant: When you install a new effective antenna, your amplifier will blow up. When you fix it, all bands will be 'clogged' by wide-band QRM of unknown nature. When QRM disappears, you rejoice briefly only to find out that someone had cut your antenna coax.

8. Axiom of QSL exchange: Confirmed are only those QSO's that you are not sure of.

9. Axiom of diploma chasing: As soon as you receive all the cards for particular award, you find out that its requirements became more complex just about a week ago. If you managed to send in an application for award you shall soon find out that it was eliminated two years ago.

10. If while tuning antenna the SWR becomes 1:1, you're connected to a dummy load.

11. The best antenna you've ever had was the one blown down by the wind last week.

12. He who knows frequencies of all DXpeditions never works more than a 150 countries in his lifetime.

13. When you don't have time to send in a contest log, everyone's scores will be lower. If you send it in as a 'check log' you are going to find out about it the day after.

14. If the new antenna works better, you are connected to the old antenna.

15. Personal qualities of one's correspondents are in direct relation with the power of one's transmitter: if you cannot get through, they are 'lids', if you can – 'best friends'.

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Published in
YCCC Scuttlebutt No.78, December, 1988
The DX Magazine, March, 1989
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All rights reserved © Yuri Baltin, 1988

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